June Orientation- saying goodbye

Somehow I got here. I don’t know how and I don’t know where the time went. It feels like a month ago I was sitting in my interview, a week ago I was being assigned Brazil and yesterday feels like it was the first orientation. Instead, it was November that I was in my interview, December I sat in that tiny Italian restaurant where I was assigned a country I never even considered living in and it was in January that I went to my first orientation. It was this past weekend at the June Orientation where I had to say goodbye. I had to say goodbye to friends I never even knew half a year ago. I had to say goodbye to friends I have grown so close to that saying goodbye hurts. Saying goodbye hurt more than I could imagine. It is not that I will not see everyone again, because I know in a year we will all be back for a rebound orientation, but it is saying goodbye to all of my American friends.

In January I met a group of highschoolers from all over Florida who were entirely American. I left this orientation where everyone was already assimilating into their new cultures. The differences were beginning to matter between the people going to Japan, Thailand, Germany, Brazil, Austria, and every other country. Each person had begun their journey, and each person had already begun to give pieces of themselves to their new homes. I had to say goodbye to these mostly- Americans knowing that next time we would be together everyone would be different. Everyone will return in a year but everyone will return half American, half another culture entirely. Everyone will still be the same person in essence, but everyone will have changed.

Now I am not saying these changes will be bad. In fact, these changes will be mostly for the good but they are still will alter and form each person I have come to love so dearly. Each person will go through struggles so unique to their own country and culture that it will be impossible to relate. Each person will be so enveloped in a language that they cannot even share jokes because it wouldn’t translate into English. I had to say goodbye to everyone. I had to say goodbye to my American friends and I had to accept the difference that will be coming. Instead of the exchange uniting us, the exchange will also separate us. I had to say goodbye to this stage in my friendships. I had to say goodbye to the first 1/3 of my exchange and I had to move forward.

It is time for me to move forward like the other 70+ students from Florida. I said goodbye to them, and I must say goodbye to part of myself. I must accept the fact that in less than two months I am leaving my home country and my home culture. I will become a world citizen rather than a citizen of the United States of America. I will come back half Brazilian and I must say goodbye to half of my American self. I am choosing to give up a portion of who I am but trading it for a better portion. I have to let go for awhile, but I know that in a years time I will return a better person.