All The Countdowns Surround Me

I sit in my room as I type this. "Vienna" by Billy Joel is playing on my computer. A severe thunderstorm rages around me. I have worked all day and the exhaustion is setting in. I am tempted to fall asleep as there is nowhere I can go while this storm (which feels more like a hurricane than a t-storm) blows through. The power is flashing in and out.

My exchange right now is somewhat like my situation in this storm right now. It is the end of the day and it is the end of my year of preparation. I am tired, but I am ready to move along. Just like I am stuck in my house, I am stuck in Florida at the moment. I am waiting for my visa which means I am waiting for my ticket and my leave date. I could be leaving in a week and a half or up to five and a half weeks from now. It is very uncertain of what is coming this next month for me. I am "in the dark" on some of this process and it is a matter of trusting that everything will come through at the moment.

The majority of the students around me are counting down the days.. two for some, ten for others and some are leaving in 20 or 30 days. I have no countdown but instead I have piles of lists. I have lists of things to do, lists of things to pack, lists of what to do when i find out when I am leaving. I could be given 24 hours notice before I have to board a plane. My life is being held in suspension as I continue to babysit, work, nanny, visit friends and have friends visit me. I know that starting in a week everything i have scheduled can be canceled in a moments notice. I am learning to live knowing that the ongoing things are temporary and learning to accept this fact. For someone like me who is a planner, this can be difficult but it is good for me. It is forcing me to be out of my comfort zone which is a huge part of going on an exchange is all about. I am learning and growing, even when its not easy.

Vienna by Billy Joel